This is an incredibly hard post to write. However, I can’t tell the story anymore so here it is. It hurts to much to continually tell. Yesterday morning I was on my way to Atlanta to see the Devils game with my brother and his friends. When I got on the parkway, the sun was in my eyes and I didn’t know where in my bag I had put my sunglasses so I pulled onto the shoulder, put my hazards on and put the car in park to go through my bag. While I was looking down, I felt the impact of another car hitting mine. My first reaction? “Oh my God this isn’t even my car.” Then I looked up. That’s when my heart stopped. The Jeep on it’s side, it’s ejected driver on the road. It was a terrible sight and one I am likely to never rid myself of. He left the scene with a weak pulse, and I prayed with everything thing I had for him to recover. Unfortunately, he did not. I can’t get through an hour without crying, his life ended WAY to soon, and I know life isn’t fair, but I am going to say it anyway, it’s just not fair. He may have been going fast or not paying attention, or whatever the case may be, but he should not be dead. While I know that God may have felt it was his time, it doesn’t make it right. I write this with a heavy heart full of sadness for his family and friends, and my prayers are definitely with them all. No parent should ever have to bury their child, never. My perspective on life has changed through this experience. Never will I ever allow someone that I am in the car with to not wear their seatbelt. Never will I drive above 5 mph over the speed limit, nor allow anyone I am driving with to. Never will I look at my phone while driving. And never again will I ever not have my sunglasses on or in a place easily accessible. I know that this was not my fault, I have been told over and over, and in my heart I know I did nothing wrong. The what ifs keep getting me though. What if I had my sunglasses on already? What if I didn’t have that english muffin and left five minutes earlier? What if I had cereal instead and left 5 minutes later? I know that I need to rid my head of these thoughts, but right now I don’t know how. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I wasn’t parked where I was parked, and I wish he was still here with his family. To my family, my friends, friends of family, family of friends, Thank you for all of your support during this time. This is not going to be an easy thing for me to deal with, its going to be incredibly hard, and your thoughts and prayers mean the world to me. Please join me in praying for his family as well, as they need the prayers more than I. And to his family and friends, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish we could turn back time and stop this from happening, but unfortunately that is not possible. He will always be in my heart, and all of you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. R.I.P.

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